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I I remember seeing the nurse running up and down the hall looking for an operating bed to take Sheila into the operating room. The doctor stopped her and told her, “take her to the operating room stat. You don't have time to put her on the normal operating bed!” I was in a daze. I couldn't think. Everything was happening so fast. A nurse brought me some scrubs and told me to put them on. I got them on and went over to the operating room, but they wouldn't let me in. I could see into the operating room, but could not go in. I could hear Sheila calling for me, saying, “you don't understand, I have to have my husband here with me.” So they told me to come in. I knelt down beside her. She seemed very scared and didn't know what was going on, and was in severe pain. She said, “honey, what's wrong? What's going on?” I said, “I don't know. But I love and I'm praying for you. It'll be ok.” I said a quick prayer for Sheila and the baby. A nurse took hold of my shoulders and told me, “we've got to go,” as she pulled me back toward the door. I paced back and forth in the room next door, waiting to hear the baby cry. I wondered what was taking so long. Again, I didn't understand. We had a C-Section with our other daughter about 5 years earlier. I didn't remember it taking this long before I heard the baby cry the last time! I was pacing back and forth between one end of the room and the door of the operating room. Suddenly I noticed the nurses hovering over the baby bed. There were about 5 of them. I saw on of them doing CPR compressions on the baby's chest and counting...1...2...3... Then I heard on of them say, “Breath baby, breath!” I knew by the way they had been acting that this was serious, but this was the first time it entered my mind that we could loose her. I knew that there was a lot that the doctors could do as long as there was life, but I chose to turn to the ONLY one who can give life! That night I pleaded with God for the life of our baby. The nurses kept hurrying by and giving me pitying glances. But they wouldn't make eye contact. Finally I stopped one of them. I had to know if their was much hope. I can see that they are doing CPR. But can you give me any hope? She said, “it doesn't look very good, but she is still alive.” I said, “so it is a girl then?” She said, “yes.” Our whole family was so excited about having a second girl in the family. Sheila had no clue what was going on. It had been a long, hard pregnancy. By far the hardest one she had ever had. I couldn't imagine having to tell her that the baby had died. The thought terrified me. Then our doctor came out to talk to me. He told me, “your wife had a full uteral rupture.” She is doing ok, but she has lost a significant amount of blood. That's when it hit me that Sheila had could have bled to death very quickly, and I could have lost them both. He said, “the baby is alive. She is breathing, but they are assisting her. He also told me that because of the low oxygen levels in her blood, he believed that she would be severely retarded and probably never walk. I was stunned, but I kept thinking...he doesn't know for sure, only God knows. A little while later I was told that they were transporting the baby to Eugene, because they had better NICU facilities there. They told me that Sheila was waking up. She was still pretty much “out of it”, but I asked her, “should I go to Eugene with the baby, or shall I stay with you?” She insisted, “I'll be fine, go with the baby.” So, I went to Eugene with the baby. I was told by the doctors in Eugene, that her brain would continue to swell and that could cause additional damage or even death. I spent the next 3 days driving between Eugene and Lebanon, Oregon. Going from the hospital where Sheila was to the hospital where our baby was, and checking on the other children (who were still staying with friends) in between. A day or so later, Sheila were talking on the phone, trying to come to grips with everything that had happened. It was so hard for me to let go of all of my wants and desires for Veronica, and to accept what God had in store for her and our family. It was durring this phone conversation that Sheila told me that she couldn't get the song "God's Way Is Best" out of her mind. As I thought about the lyrics of this song, this wasn't just something that God had allowed, but it was His best for us. This song has been much more meaningful to our family since that time. Looking Back I was supposed to go get another load in Eugene, But after talking to Sheila, I decided I'd better head home. We got to the hospital only 45 minutes before the baby was born (by C-section). What If I had gotten that other load ? When we got there our Doctor wasn't there yet. When things started to go wrong , our nurse ran to get another doctor across the hall, who was just about ready to do a non-emergent c-section on another lady who was having trouble with her delivery. So, they scheduled a c-section for her. Otherwise the c-section team wouldn't have been there. I understand the c-section staff is to live within 20 minutes from the hospital. But that would have been to late. Another thing...the doctor working with the other lady had stopped off somewhere and was about 15 minutes late. What if she had been on time? There is only one c-section team at the Lebanon hospital, By the time they would have finished with the other lady, we would surely have lost Veronica, and maybe Sheila also. The Doctor told us later that she had the scalpel in her hand , ready to make the initial incision when our nurse ran in to get her. What if our Doctor had been on time? The nurse wouldn't have went to get the other Doctor. By the time they would have figured out what was wrong, they would have started on the other lady. It would have been to late by the time they finished. So they wheeled the other lady out, and my wife in. And some people think there is no God!!! I don't know exactly why this happened to us, but I do know why there is suffering, pain, heartache, disease and death in this world. It is because of the sin of man. All around us, everyday reminders stare us in the face of our sinfulness before a Holy God. Praise God, He didn't leave us in our own mess. He Gave us a hope beyond this world in the precious blood of his own son, Jesus Christ. What I don't understand, is why so many people (and many even choosing) stumble through life on their own, when they could have their creator walking with them, being a lamp to their feet and an ever present help in time of trouble. |
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had no clue of the road that God was going to take us down. But let me say He has been faithful. July 18, 2003 was like many other days. I was working long hours. Sheila had called and told me that her labor had started. This being our fith child, I new that she knew what she was talking about. Her labor progressed like normal all day. Then at 8:30pm she called me again, and said that the labor was getting very strong. I got home at about 10:00pm. After getting ready and dropping our children off at a friend's house, we headed for the hospital at about 11:00pm and arrived at about 11:30pm. By this time the contractions were very strong. At about 5 minutes before 12:00am, I teasingly told her, between contractions, “You have to wait a little longer, because it's not your Mom's birthday yet.” A contraction or two later, as the baby was crowning, I saw her stomach really jump. Soon after that, the baby's heart rate dropped dramatically. I didn't understand what was happening and the nurse was concerned about the baby's heart rate. She checked the connections to the machine. After she couldn't get anything to change and all the connections on the machine seemed to be ok, she went across the hall to get a doctor because ours had not arrived yet. The doctor tried to get Sheila to change positions, thinking maybe it was a pinched cord. I asked them, “what's wrong?” They reassured me that it was probably just a pinched cord and she will be ok. But after a minute or two of trying, they could not get the baby's heart rate to come back up. The doctor told the nurse, “get her into the operating room right away!”